A decade or so ago, I met and befriended an investment banker who frequented the sandwich shop I worked at. My job was a short-lived part time distraction I loved, which earned me a bit of spending money while I was still studying. His was a boring job, earning obscene amounts of money (his words) and he looked the part to boot. Very Mad Men, now that I think about it. Complete with grey fedora.

We hung out a few times and he spoke wistfully of wanting to travel around the country. One day, he paid for his sandwich and said that he wasn’t going to be back as he had quit his job to chase a dream. We didn’t keep in touch which was a shame, because I still wonder if he’s living his dream. If I met him again, I’d also like to tell him that I’m managing to slowly chase mine.

I never did like studying much. Perhaps it was because my parents placed so much emphasis on it as a sign of success. School, piano lessons, violin lessons, computer classes. None of it seems to amount to what I enjoy doing now, but I don’t regret any of it. Doing what you don’t like sometimes leads to the discovery of what you do like. After I graduated from University, I approached a few restaurants looking for a job and finally someone did give me a break. There have been many ups and downs since but I’m still making things with my hands, still feeding people and hopefully bringing smiles to faces.

Life before cake was happy and sweet. Life after cake is just as good. But with cake.

Wheat-free lemon poppyseed cake :
(based on a recipe in Flour by Joanne Chang)

120g brown rice flour
120g barley flour
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
150g unsalted butter, melted
60g cream (35% fat)
3 tablespoons finely grated lemon zest
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
3 tablespoons poppy seeds
4 eggs
220g caster sugar

Preheat the oven to 175’C. Line a 9 x 5 inch loaf pan with baking paper.

Sift the flours, baking powder, xanthan gum and salt together.

In another bowl, combine the melted butter, cream, lemon zest, juice and poppyseeds.

In a stand mixer, whisk the eggs and caster sugar on medium speed for about 5 minutes or until light and fluffy. Fold in the flour mixture, then the butter mixture, until combined. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 1 hour or until the cake is golden brown and a skewer inserted into the cake comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool slightly before glazing the still-warm cake with a lemon icing.

For the glaze, mix 70g icing sugar with 1 to 2 tablespoons of lemon juice and spread it over the cake.

This week, I’m counting down a little nervously to the day I start whipping up a huge batch of these cupcakes for a friend’s wedding. I’ve baked in bulk before, but never at home with a pint sized mixer and a single oven. For weeks now, I’ve been worrying over the little things that could possibly go wrong, including the amount of time I will have to make these, as I’m trying to fit it in, inbetween work and other commitments. Mind you, I’m extremely excited about the task and can’t wait to get stuck into the cake-baking and buttercream-mixing. In the meantime, I have cartons and cartons of eggs on my kitchen counter, a dining table taken over by a mountain of packing boxes, a fridge full of butter blocks and containers of chocolate ganache, and I’m half way through assembling the presentation/cutting cake. Fingers crossed, this whole operation is going to turn out as smoothly and as sweetly as….. vanilla bean buttercream.

So I woke up this morning and wondered where on earth my holiday had gone to. I looked for it in all the typical places – the back pockets of my favourite pair of jeans, behind the door, under the couch – before realising that just like the last cookie in the jar, my holiday had already been consumed.

With typical perfect timing, my oven has also chosen this very moment, to break down. This oven, the sun, all pushing me towards the inevitable conclusion that is, the start of work.

Sigh.

In examining the remaining crumbs of my holiday, I realised that despite it’s brevity, there’s probably not much I could complain about. The weather had been kind, I managed to squeeze in some face-time with a few close friends and I started and finished two books (The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga and Surrender by Sonya Hartnett); an accomplishment these days when cookbooks are my main distraction.

Countless days of sleeping-in aside, my employers might be quite glad to hear that I’ve missed work and am actually looking forward to returning. Not to take anything away from the fact that I loved the kicked up feet, the new indent I’d made in our couch and the pleasure of forgetting-what-day-it-was. Some people have claimed I perform best under pressure and while I’ve vocally pishposh-ed their opinion, I’ve also quietly thanked them for the compliment. In our industry, to be told that you perform well under pressure is like getting the cherry bonus in a game of PacMan. (Confession : I don’t play PacMan particularly well).

I have decided to commemorate my return to work with a post and a giveaway. Since I’ve been on holiday (read : lazy), I haven’t been taking many pictures, so had to dig up a photo taken late last year of a cheesecake I made after coming across an old post of Helen’s. You can find the recipe here, and believe me when I say, this recipe is as much about the cheesecake as it is about that salted butter caramel sauce. Do not attempt to make one without the other!

As for the giveaway, I have to admit that this blog has never been able to afford giveaways. Lemonpi started out as a personal journal and I’d like to think it will always remain that way. I have no grandiose plans for it. It just is, and while it remains fun, it will continue to exist. So for my giveaway, I’m offering free compassion^* to every reader who leaves a comment. If compassion isn’t your thing, then I hope you at least got a free smile for the day, from reading this post.

^*Compassion is limited to one comment per reader only.